joyful holiday

A joyful holiday of blessings and light to you all!

Reverb - Everything's OK

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?(Author: Kate Inglis)

There was a moment this summer when my 4 year old niece Flora and I were in my backyard garden, sitting in the big periwinkle Adirondack chairs, looking at the sky.  We each had our own chair, and for her to actually sit for more than a minute was a miracle.  I'd been having a tough day, emotionally drained, so was enjoying just being.  After a minute or two sitting there, Flora says, "Jenn, I love you."  "Oh, Flora, I love you too."  "And this is my favorite place to be.  With you.  It's like magic."  Awwwww....heart melting.  At that moment her older brother Kai showed up, snuggles into me, and says, "This is just beautiful back here.  I love you Jenn."  Another few seconds later her other brother (they're twins) shows up and says, "Wow, this is like magic back here!"  We all just sat together, feeling the love.

In the span of 4 minutes, surrounded by the most important people in my life, I knew life would be okay.  It would be more than okay.  If I lost everything else around me and still had these beautiful amazing children, I would be good.  I soaked up every moment of it and bottled that feeling up in my heart.

Knowing and feeling this moment will carry me through my life, not just 2011.

Reverb - Travel

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Travel.  How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

HOW did I travel in 2010? On some rollercoasters and bumpy car rides.  But I think I did as well as could be expected with it all.  I love to travel, in all matter of travelling, so it is just part of the journey.

WHERE did I travel in 2010?  Oh so many inner realms!  And of course, Grand Marais (heaven close to home) and the beauty of Lake Superior.  Atlanta.  Savannah.  Tybee Island (heaven far from home).  Dubuque.  St Cloud. Belle Plaine.  Eau Claire.  Ashland.  Superior.  Duluth.  Park Rapids.

How and where in 2011?  With GRACE.  No more bumpy rides for me, thank you.  And with other divine travelers that I love.  To all the same places plus MORE!  Tucson & Phoenix, Sedona.  Seattle.  California.  Sante Fe & Taos.  Naples & the little islands.  England!  BALI!!


And don't forget deep within to the places of JOY and LOVE.

Hi ho!

Reverb - Future Self

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

Dear Jennifer~

Oh beautiful Jennifer, what a difference in life 5 years makes, huh?  I am so proud of you and all the amazing shifts and changes you have made.  Your life has opened up in ways you just couldn't imagine five years ago, didn't it?  All those years of hard work and patience helped you create such a beautiful, loving, divine life.  Think about where you were in 2010.  Wasn't it just unreal, in some respect? So hard, so many lessons, but yet so many moments of bliss and connection.

But NOW ... NOW you have so much MORE! You have it all and there is more to come!!

I want to remind you, however, of a few things to come in 2011.  You will GROW!  You will find that everything you have done in your life up until now has led to this moment.  You will gain new connections and resources that allow your life AND businesses to thrive in ALL ways!  There will be personal insights and connections, new people, new levels of consciousness ...

All it takes is FAITH, COURAGE, and LOVE.

You have always had all three, but they've waivered a bit in the past years.  Faith is what will keep you strong, it will bring you the courage you need to move forward, and of course, LOVE is at the center of it all, always, and it just always GROWS.  And yes, there will be romantic love this year too.  You are ready and you have no idea what JOY is to come!  ;)

2011 will be your best year yet!  (But it will just continue to get better and better .....)

So my reminders to you:

Open your heart!
Follow your heart!
Trust!
Go on FAITH!
Take the steps with COURAGE!
BE FEARLESS!
Keep writing!
Keep shining!
Always find your JOY!
You have ALL THAT YOU NEED WITHIN!!!

Yes, you really do!!

Now go to it!  The world is waiting for you and your amazing creations and Love!
I LOVE YOU!!!
To infinity and beyond~~
jennifer

Reverb - Beyond Avoidance

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

2010 went by SO fast.  Even though I know it was all perfect and I don't believe in "should's", I might have attended to a few things.  Clutter in my office.  A few friendships.  Rebuilding my business.  Getting more massages and healings.  Going to yoga class.

I don't regret any of these however.  There is divine timing for everything, and I trust the process of how life plays out every single day.

And in 2011, yes, I will do whatever I need to do for more joy, love, and flow in my life!

Reverb - Heal

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?  (Author: Leonie Allan)

Where do I even begin?

I healed myself.  I am healing myself.

At the same time, I do believe we are perfect, whole, and Divine all the time.  We tend to forget this on our human journey, then strive to clear away the "muck" to get back to Divine.

My friends, my true soul connections, my garden, the moonlight, music, the time to just be and breathe ... all this things were huge factors in healing myself.  Without these things, I would be much crazier right now.  2010 was my year of a LOT of things, non-necessities, being stripped away.  While the stripping away was usually quick and fast, the healing from it was verrrrry slow, drip by drip, and I could even feel the drips slowly pulling away the rough hard edges.

It was glorious.
I am grateful every day for these moments.  (Well, except for those "moments" (ie weeks) were I had a hard time functioning or even breathing, was so wrapped up in emotions and overwhelm and stuckness.)  I wouldn't change any of it.

In 2011 I intend to continue my own healing, in all ways, but with much more EASE and grace.  No more of this "let me whack you upside the head" crap.  My main intention is to heal my belief that I am not worthy (of love, of money, of speaking my truth).  When I truly look at what holds me back in various ways, it boils down that one thing.  Amazing what "one thing" can affect.

But I am grateful for it all, for the Big Learnings. 

(And yay for my inspirationalfriend Leonie's prompt! She rocks.)

Reverb - Try

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Try.  What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?  (Author: Kaileen Elise)

I will not quote Yoda right now. 

Awww dang I just have to ...

"Do or not do, there is no Try."

TRY doesn't really exist in my world.  Hasn't for a while.  I either do or don't do.  To "try" means I really won't ever get to it.

But I know that's not really what they meant in this particular prompt.

2010 wasn't really a year of new things.  It was enough for me to just stay sane and balanced, so doing new things wasn't on my radar.

But in 2011, I would like to DO a Zip Line (with my mom).  And travel to a foreign country (which also means getting a passport.)  Play with Metal Clay.  And maybe some Kirtan.  Oh and of course opening my heart.

Plus whatever else fun and creative and amazing the Universe has in store for me. 

That's all.

(I'm a little annoyed by this prompt since it seems to overlap a few other prompts.  Ah well.)

Reverb - Lesson Learned

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?  (Author: Tara Weaver)

Resiliency.

I have always thought I was very resilient.  There have been so many experiences in my life that have been challenging and stupid and well, Life.  Every single time, however, I am able to get up, brush myself off, and move on.

This year, I wasn't so sure that was going to happen.

I really did wonder at times if the pain and the caregiving and the digging deep within would kill me.  Seriously.  There were so many moments of "what the hell have I done with my life?" and "OMG please just take me home NOW, God, NOW NOW NOW!"  The typical Jennifer who would see beyond whatever experience I'd just had seemed to have died.  In some respect, a large part of me has died this past year.  But it's okay.  I needed it to and wanted it to.  But it has taken me so much longer to bounce back.

It might be because of how BIG things were this year.

It might be because it was going to my deep inner core to see who I really was/AM.

And still, it might be because this just was my year of Big Ass Shifting.

Finally, eventually, I did see that I am still resilient.  And now maybe it's even stronger, ironically.  I am moving forward, and in a whole new way and with whole new eyes and knowing of who I am.  I am strong, flexible, honorable, respecting, deep, willing, honest, loving, and even beautiful.  A few people might not see the changes in me, or be willing to see them, but all that matters is myself, right?

I know I am Love, I know I am Loved, and I know there is nothing, NOTHING, that will break my spirit or kill my soul.

I apply this lesson daily, knowing that each moment asks us to move to the next moment, no matter what it might bring.  It is digging deep into the unending well of Life and LOVE.  Resiliency is our faith that life has hope.

At least I damn well hope so.



(And just now, a lot of these posts might seem self-serving, petty, or just weird, but they are my life and through Reverb I am clearing all the old to make way for the new.  Rock on.  Thanks.)

Reverb - Friendship

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?  (Author: Martha Mihalick)

My goodness these prompt for Reverb sure to get me thinking about the Divine Order of things!  Like so many prompts, this one is so timely and just nails one of the biggest aspects of my year.

I would have never predicted or hoped for what happened with my friendships this year.  And I no longer have any concern about being honest about it, since I need to speak my truth and honestly, I don't give a damn about what others might think any more. 

I lost a few friends this year.  Not by choice, by any means.  It was the unfortunate (but not really, now I see it as very fortunate) side effect of moving out of my office one year ago.  Things happened, things didn't happen, there really is no reason for details.  It was a slow descent that happened over time.  And while for many months I dearly missed those friends whom I'd come to know and feel were truly my soulsisters, they weren't meant to stay in my life.  They taught me a lot.  We had many amazing fun times.  It was all divine, of course.

Our parting wasn't easy, even though others claimed it was done in Love and we'd keep our friendship intact.  Luckily, by the grace of God, I grew from this shitty experience, as it forced me to really look at who I was, to know within myself that I am NOT the bad person they made me out to be, and to know they truly were mirrors for me in both light and dark.  I don't blame anyone, I don't see them as less than Divine, I accepted my responsibility in it all and did what I could to the best of my ability, and I truly hope that their lives become whole and rich and aligned with Love.

Within the muck and pain and confusion, however, came a tiny ray of hope.  An unlikely friendship formed.  An acquaintance from this group of friends and I decided to meet for coffee one day.  It was divinely timed and I was so surprised to find out she wasn't really what the others had made her out to be and what even I thought her to be.  There was big caution, of course, considering what I'd just experienced.  Slowly, I came to know this beautiful person who opened my eyes to many new things, and I call her Friend.  We're alike in so many ways, yet have differences.  And it works. 

We grew together over this past year, sharing our different though similar experiences.  We've both supported and encouraged each other through big transformations and shifts, we know how to be friends to each other, and it's a mutual respect for who we are.  I honestly do not know how I would have "recovered" from the past year without her friendship.  Others might not see it or understand the unlikely friendship.  But it is one of most rewarding and I will never be able to tell her how grateful I am for her presence in my life.  I am so so soooo blessed.

And my mom likes her.

Reverb - 5 minutes

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.  (Author: Patti Digh)

Summer bliss stars twinkly lights laughing Flora fairies garden flowers Kai Kaedon cancer shit hospitals clinics appointments driving crying being blessing asking helping being helped healing friends friends friends loss shifting every single day going within confirmations soul connections change swearing crying confusion pain stupidassmotherf**ker ignorance ego manipulation darkness hiding boundaries no boundaries loss alone letting go releasing surrendering love love love joy grilling farmers markets Michael Franti party hugs music dancing moonlight walking river water talking being beading creating experiencing life feeling God St Germaine Quan Yin transformation knowing sensing following intuition aligning with the flow being the flow time bringing in new energy out of whack discombobluated crying Grand Marais North Shore Lake Superior Atlanta Savannah Tybee Island Dubuque Rochester Eau Claire Park Rapids travelling parallel soul opening freedom Love Love Love.

spiritual bloggers?

Hey I am writing a NON Reverb10 post!  :) 

As I was writing a few nights ago I had the realization that I feel a little lonely in the blogosphere.  I KNOW there are other spiritual/holistic/metaphysical/transformational/inspirational bloggers out there.  I read a lot of your blogs and yeah, I should probably start posting comments and saying Hi. 

So can we make a deal?  Will you start following and/or commenting in my blog?  And I will do the same for yours?  Just say Hi, give me (and everyone else) your blog address, and we'll start connecting.  I even want to do giveaways and contests at some point soon in 2011.  (And if you don't know what that is, start reading more blogs. LOL)  Even if you don't have a blog, post a comment here and there as you feel inspired.  Thanks.

And for those of you in "my" world who actually KNOW me in person, YOU NEED TO BLOG!

You know who you are!

Get on it already!  It doesn't take much THOUGHT, time, or energy!  Just spur of the moment inspirational thoughts typed up are coolio.

Let's get a spiritual blog community flowing!

Okay, post away in comments NOW!  ;)

LOVE and love to all!

THANKS!!!

Reverb - Appreciate

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?  (Author: Victoria Klein)
How can I even begin to express what I appreciate?  I have a whole new appreciation for SO many things.  Health, Life, Family, Friends, a roof over my head and food to eat ...

But truly, the ONE thing I have come to appreciate the most, even if we don't always get along perfectly, is my family.  After dealing with my mom's cancer for more than 10 months, we have all come to really be there for each other.  We always have, we've been lucky.  My brother started coming around more often, the kids were more gentle with Grandma, my dad was as present as he could be from 1100 miles away (temporarily working in another state).  We might not have a typical life together, but it's ours.

It wasn't an easy time for us.  Lots of emotions, phone calls, trips to the clinic or hospital. 

But we made it work.  We didn't have a choice, mom's health was priority.  She was blessed with our family support and the prayers and healing from people around the world, and she was graced with the gift of holistic treatments at the clinic to complement her western treatments.  All of it made us appreciate the amazing nurses who do MORE than they should be required to do and the great doctors that had her back at all times.  We didn't have any issues with the system like so many others do.  It was such a blessing.

My family has always been there for me, and I will always be there for them.  I don't always express that fact, but I will work on it.

I appreciate them more than they'd know.

Reverb - Action

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Action.  When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?  (Author: Scott Belsky)

Part of the past year was about action.  Taking mom to the clinic.  Taking mom to the emergency room.  Visiting mom in hospital.  Dropping mom off at chemo.  It was very, very tiring.

So by summer, I was able to stop moving.

To just BE.  To sit in my garden, to recoup, to find balance again.

Then I realized, I have stopped.

I stopped a LOT of things.  There is a difference between resting and being, and stopping.  I stopped my life.  It might not be apparent to most people.  I kept working (though much less), I kept doing things.  But I was not moving forward.  Honestly, it was too hard.  It took all year for me to "recover" from all the action (physical and INNER action).

My next step is moving foward.  It's moving into who I truly am.

It is allowing my business to grow in new ways.  And putting into action all the ideas that pop into my head ALL THE TIME.  Taking action to allow LOVE to come in.  Action to LIVE FULL ON FUN, with beauty and grace, and to GROW.

Amen.

Reverb - Body Integration

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Body Integration.  This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?  (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

This prompt is actually so refreshing to me.  Most of the folks in "my world" do really great with spiritual stuff and mind matters.  Body, not so much.  But in the past 2 or 3 years I have really moved INTO my body.  In the spiritual realm, it is all about getting "out there" and to a higher state of vibration.  Yep, absolutely.  I strive for that daily.

BUT I have come to believe through a few teachers and my own inner digging, that we have to be IN OUR BODY to do this spiritual work. 

(I feel like I should explain "spiritual work", but the shortest way to do that is to say we are living in amazingly transformative times on the planet and if we are not doing our personal inner work and connecting to our soul and spiritual lives, life will get really really hard.)

God did not give us a BODY for no reason.  We have to nurture it and take care of it.  Think about it, THERE ARE NO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.  We are special.  To get really clear and connected to God, we have to be consciously connected within ourselves.  Our bodies are the vessel to get us "there."  (Even tho there is no "there", it's all HERE within! LOL)

A few years ago I got the nudges to start yoga.  And it changed my life.  My teacher rocks.  Of course, I haven't been to her class for over a year now.  Life got distracted.  But my BODY can feel it every Tuesday night when I should be there.  Yoga allowed me to move.  To stretch.  To feel connected to my body and to let the rest of the world disappear as I moved deeply into the present moment.  Keep in mind, I am a big girl.  I was terrified of walking into a typical yoga studio with size 2 blondes in $90 yoga pants.  So not me.  But my teacher is all about ALL bodies.  And she understands we all have our own timing and ability, as well as the spiritual (true) aspects of yoga.  There were times I thought I was going to pass out.  I would laugh a LOT when I couldn't get into a position. 

BUT ... I felt so much FREEDOM in realizing that I CAN move my body and I LOVE it.  One particular time she had us maneuver into the wall ropes and fold forward with just the ropes supporting us.  OMG.  Nope, cant' do it.  No way.  She gently talked me through it, reassuring me that it would hold and that I could do it.  So I laughed (even while my inner critic was screaming bloody murder), I leaned forward, and I DID IT.  I had never felt so freakin' empowered and alive in that moment.

Yoga rocks.

In the past year it's been a struggle to continue to eat healthy, to get to yoga class, or to just MOVE my body.  I CLAIM that I don't have TIME.  But now I do. I need to make time.  Hello, I bought a membership to a local rec center that has a great gym and walking track ... I have not been there ONCE.  My body is getting more sensitive all the time.  Sugar, salt, gluten, all not so great for my body.  Can't do some of my typical skin care products anymore (and I already have been using natural chemical free products for close to 20 years).  My physical body is starting to complain a little more.  So I am paying attention.  I address the emotional aspects of it all first, then dig in to clear whatever I need to clear.

2011 will be MY year.  In many ways.  I will honor and fully take care of my body.  I AM eating more healthy.  I AM going back to yoga.  I AM walking more often.  I AM using my gym membership.  I AM LOVING my body.

Reverb - 11 Things

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?  (From Sam Davidson)

I hereby announce that in 2011 I no longer need:

1. To NOT Open My Heart. While I have always been open hearted, I have been very guarded and cautious lately. No more.
2. To be afraid of going out into the big wide "mainstream" world as ME. This includes going out with friends (new and old) to bars, clubs, art galleries, studios, music venues, and other places to just have FUN.
3. To define myself by my loss and changes in 2010. No more. Moving Forward.
4. Fear of not doing enough. I always feel behind. In everything. I will realize that NOW is all I have and it's all divinely timed.
5. To feel limited by my profession. The "metaphysical" world doesn't fit me any longer. That doesn't mean that I do not do "metaphysical" things or have the interest. It means I want to expand where my focus goes and not feel so defined as "new age" or just an "energy healer". I am also a writer, social media wanna-be, blogger, artist, event planner, magzine editor, jewelry designer, foodie, gardener, crafter, handmade wannabe, yogi, and MORE.
6. To spend too many hours (yes, hours) reading blogs, emails, websites, teleclasses, playing Frontierville, or other online actions that do not uplift my soul. Really. Done.
7. Fear of deserving and having money. There are so many ways I have sabotaged myself since childhood. I see this clearly Now, and know deep in my heart that there is MORE to life for me in ALL ways and to live my full amazing beautiful life I need to FEEL within myself that I deserve this life I dream of. And that takes money. Money is not evil. Money is good. There IS enough to go around. I do not live in a recession, I create all that I need NOW. Thanks.
8. To skip out on what makes me happy. Many times I will not do what makes me happy, usually for silly reasons like I don't want to drive there, it's too cold outside, I don't have the money, I have to go alone, etc. I want to do it ALL.
9. To doubt that I deserve romantic love. I AM SINGLE AND AVAILABLE. (Shit that was hard to type!) Yes, I may have "issues" and a different life, but we all do. There IS someone out there for me. He just hasn't shown up yet. I deserve it. I want it. I (looked at the clock just now and it's 11:11 pm!) am consciously calling in my divine soul partner NOW. You all know where to reach me if you have someone in mind.
10. Clutter in my office. Ugh. Enough already! I WILL find the time and energy to clear it all out!
11. To doubt that I am a beautiful, divine, brilliant, feminine, sexy, powerful WOMAN. Because I am.

Getting rid of these things will bring me closer to the full amazing human that I really truly am!  (And so are you!)

Whoo hoo!

reverb - Wisdom

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

This prompt hasn't been easy to write.  I really could have written about the most obvious decision I made this year (well, end of '09), but it didn't feel right.  There were a lot of small decisions I made this year that really played out beautifully and unexpectedly.

But what my heart wants you to know is about my decision to Find My Self.

I didn't realize how lost I'd been.  Yes, I functioned and operated in the world as best I could.  I really did think I knew myself.  I was confident in my work, family, who I was.  There really was no reason for me to believe I had any inner or personal work to do.  I did all my emotional work 10+ years ago as I started on my spiritual path, been through years of traditional therapy.  I thought I was "done" with all that soul seeking.


Ha!

Eventually something started cracking.  My heart couldn't take it any longer, and all the years of looking outside myself for the answers finally forced me to look within myself.  I'd had all these notions of who I was, who my friends thought I was, I took on ideas of other teachers and writers without a second thought.  But did I really hold the same beliefs or concepts?  Not really.  I was lost in the game of "let's do everything we can before we really have to look at our own shit."

So I disappeared.

Not literally, of course, but I really sank within myself for many months, and to some degree, am still there.  It was the year of letting go, of surrendering all that I thought was serving my life but really wasn't.  Of letting my life just BE whatever it needed to be in each moment.  For the first part of the year it was being in the moment of role as a caregiver, being able to drop everything to take my mom to the emergency room for the 3rd time or to her chemo session.  My Outer Self really was present and on guard for her.  Disappearing from the outside world was easier than I would have thought.  But on such a deep soul level, I really needed it.  My businesses and livelihood as taken a big hit because of it.  I see it as a fair exchange for finding the start of who I really AM, however. 

At the same time, my inner Self (and physical self) was crying every day, looking for one tiny bit of respite and peace, and really asking that the beliefs, thoughts, habits, patterns, soul agreements, contracts, etc, that didn't serve me any more be released from my life.  I chose to sink into my inner world and explore, to look at the deep parts of myself that I haven't wanted to look at, ever.  To see myself from a God Perspective and to see what wasn't 'real'.  It wasn't easy, believe me.  There were parts of myself that were ugly and sad.  But I started doing my work.  The inner work of releasing the old and seeing the true, beautiful, absolutely perfect being I AM.

I still have a long ways to go.

It's an ongoing process of knowing deep within myself that I am worthy of all the beauty and joy the world has to offer.  Of actually believing that I AM God. It certainly is shifting how I see the world and how I present myself to the world.  Slowly, bit by bit, I am coming out of my shell, seeking the world again.  Forgive me if I dip my feet in and then run back to shore for a bit.  It feels like this is the biggest, deepest, hardest, and yet most rewarding process I will go through in my LIFE.  (And if you see my astrology transit chart for this year, reading "once in a lifetime transit" every other paragraph is not really fun, but now, it all makes so much sense.)

Finding My SELF.

Yep, still playing out.  And still so rewarding.

Reverb - Party!

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.  (Author: Shauna Reid)

Yes, catching up on Reverb10, the week got away from me.  Nothing like the snowstorm of the decade to keep one writing!

Party!

I turned 40 in March.   

It sucked. 

I really wanted a big blow-out bash with all my dear friends, late night, party it up at some hip restaraunt bar.  But nope.  Life had other plans at the time.  I did have a nice time out with a few friends, but most of them bailed early.  Luckily it was not far to a friends place so we went there to have a glass of wine.  That was the best part of the night.

By May I knew I had to have a bigger party anyhow.  All the people I hold near and dear to my heart came for a casual garden party in late July.  I wanted to honor them for being so supportive of me and my family during a very trying year.  They were the folks that kept me sane and stable during so much chaos. 

We all gathered (from near and far, was so honored that 2 friends from far out of town joined us!) on an absolutely perfect summer night.  There was an abundance of food, twinkly lights in the garden, my favorite music, tons of laughter and sharing. 

Candles burned, glitter was twinkling on the patio, and sure, there were some mosquitoes. 

There was such a beautiful glow and flow to everyone, connections were made, hearts were open.  If we'd sat together with the intent of manifesting or creating world peace (as opposed to just celebrating each other), we would have blown our socks off.
                                      
I was a happy hostess.  Of course, I didn't get to chat with everyone for more than about 2 minutes each, but it didn't matter. My chicks were all gathered in my yard and I was a happy Mama Hen. 

My heart was overflowing with peace and love for these people.  My friends.  And I still don't really think they know how much they mean to me.  These are powerful, amazing, beautiful people and I am just amazed and honored to be their friend.

It was a great summer party.

reverb - beautifully different

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

This prompt has been pushing my buttons all day.  I put it off.  But it kept popping into my head.  What the heck would I write?  Even while having coffee with two friends today, both of whom are so sweet, kind, funny, gentle, rockin', smart (-asses), beautiful, powerful, I could list all those things about them but not myself.  I am surrounded by amazing and beautiful friends and family, all of whom are so different in their own ways, all without a doubt beautiful.

My little niece can tell me I'm beautiful.  My grandfather has been the only male in my life to tell me I'm beautiful.  (Oh, I take that back, my friend P said it about me the second year of FLP (annual outdoor festival I helped coordinate for a few years) and I bawled for days afterwards.)  AND I have always known I am different.  In the sushed "oh, she's just a little different" kind of way.  It has taken me a long time to accept it.  And to love it.

But to write about how I am beautifully different?  Publicly?

Right.

When I think about what other people say about me and all the gifts I have and how I uplift their life, I want to cry.  And usually do.  When a friend calls and waxes poetic about how great I am, I just shake my head and then cry.  I cry because I don't see myself the same way, and yet, on some level, I know they are right.  But I am so afraid of it going to my head and living from my Ego and not my Truth.  I guess I have to let that go.

So ....


Things that make me different?

I love the cluttered look of stacks of books.  There are few things that will surprise me.  But I do love surprises.  The stories I tell are sometimes too elaborate.  I can use my inner GPS to get almost anywhere.

I love fiercely.

There is a song in my head at all times.  I can bring people together.  I can see everyone's Light.  And their darkness.  But I accept them both.  I am a shy person with an extrovert longing.

My intuition is so strong some days I don't know how to make it practical.  I can bring the energy of a crystal into being by intention.  My soul wants to sing out loud but I don't let it, since my voice scares even me.  I have met a Spirit Guide in human form.

My creative self has TONS of ideas about a lot of things to create.  My heart will burst to overflowing when my friends and family are all in one place with me.  Music brings me messages.  The Love of my Life hasn't shown up yet but I am asking for him to get on the ball.  My spiritual connection grows deeper every day and it sometimes involves aliens.  I know a little bit about a lot of stuff.


And some day, I will realize I am beautiful.

Reverb - Community

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?  (Author: Cali Harris)

Community has been in my thoughts for a few days (well, months, actually).  This is going to sound odd, but for most of my life I have had a love/hate relationship with 'community.'  I go through phases where I really dig in and love my community of friends or community at large, participate, encourage it, etc, and I am completely happy.  There is something deeply comforting, nurturing, and wholesome about all the communities I have been a part of, and I thrive on bringing everyone together as one big happy family.

And then, suddenly, I don't.

Something shifts, the community just fades away, or I have an experience that throws my life into a tailspin and I have to hide for a while.  Without a doubt I absolutely love my quiet life, spending time with mostly just ME and select few of family and friends.  My cave of self is lovely and easy.  A community is not always easy.  I like easy. 

But I have come to see that I really do need both.  And I love both. 

Starting in 2009 and throughout 2010 I really had to step back from my community for many reasons, and my community extended to many area's and groups of people.  It wasn't that anything "happened", I just had to find myself again.  That's my "catch" sometimes in community, I lose my Self.  I was also seeing my community at large with new eyes and not necessarily liking what I was seeing.  My judgments about what was happening just got too harsh and I hated being judgmental.  The judgments, of course, were a reflection of what was going on within myself.  Time to look deep within myself has been a huge blessing in 2010 and has deeply shifted my life and being.

But now ... NOW I would like to balance my need for a larger community around me with my own Self time.  There is such a need for my local holistic & spiritual community to come together.  For WHAT, I am not exactly sure, but maybe that doesn't matter.  There are all these little groups of people and practitioners, but we don't necessarily interact with each other.  We can learn from and support each other.  As more people awaken into spirituality and more to life, we need to be the beacons to show the way.  This might be a lofty ideal, but I am hopeful. 

As far as my "personal" community, I think I want to grow my tribe.  I am amazingly blessed to have a small number of friends who keep me sane and laughing.  They are my soulpeeps.  But my heart is still learning to Trust.  Heaven forbid I jump in and end up getting scarred for the umpteenth time.  But I am learning.  Slooooowly learning.  My heart longs for the day when I can just truly really deeply be MYSELF and jump in to express myself fully.  My community deserves that from me.

And I will get there.  I know I will.  I TRUST I will.

Reverb - Make

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Today's post is simple.  Holiday cookies pre-frosting.  This was my favorite cookie cutter as a kid.  Materials used: butter, flour, sugar, vanilla, etc.  And yes, I want to make more jewelry, PMC, and collages and TOTALLY need to make time for it.

Reverb - Let Go

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Ahhh.

Life sure is funny.  How can one little question be so big?

Yes.

I let go of A LOT this year.  See my first Reverb10 post to see what changes I've experienced, and you'll get an idea.

This question is Big (yes, with a capital "B") because of the timing.  The Divine sure does have a sense of humor.  One year ago on exact date, I let go of something in my life.  At the time, I was following my intuition, 6 weeks of "you need to do this NOW."  Little nudges here and there.  Every time I felt it, I would dismiss it.  My brain would say, "NO, I can't do that, it's not right or fair, and I made a commitment.  And if I do this, what then?!"  But the little voice within kept poking until I couldn't ignore it any longer.

I didn't know why.

My ego didn't want to do it.  I certainly had no clue what I was going to do after letting go.

And I really had no idea how BIG it would change my life until many months later, in many ways.  But I knew I had to TRUST it.

The day AFTER I let go of this big thing, my mom found out she had cancer. 

And my intuition went, "See, we told you."

It all became clear about why I had to let go.


And I would not change a thing.

That's not to say the past year hasn't had its challenges and I still have LOTS of creating, learning, and growing to do.  But I feel so blessed in so many ways.  I trust my intuition SO much more (even though I really thought I trusted it previously).  I have a whole new life.  I know myself.  There are amazing people around me.  My mom is now healthy and thriving more than she has in years.  My family is stronger.

The old addage is right ... when one door closes, another opens.

Or, maybe, a whole wall crumbles and reveals Life.

Reverb - Wonder

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Need I say more?

Well, okay, if you insist.

This is the easiest prompt yet, without hesitation I knew my answer and which photo to include.  My dear neice Flora is 4 1/2.  Most people know she is the absolute JOY of my life.  (My twin 8 almost 9 year old nephews are as well.  Thank god for my brother having kids!)  My life is so enriched and blessed with her in it.  How can it not be when everything is pink and girly and frilly?  She is a true fairy girl, oh excuse me, PRINCESS girl (I heard her argue with me about it in my head), and she sees magic in every single moment.

Everything is "Ooooh I loooove pink.  Ooooh I loooove my chocolate.  Oooh look at the pretty sparkly lights, Jenn you missed the sparkly lights!  Go back, you have to seeeeeee!  I loooove how snowflakes taste.  I like you, Jenn, you're my best friend.  I loooove Princess dresses."  She knows fairies are real, she is intuitive as all get out, and she sees the beauty and joy of the world everywhere.

I have so many stories about her that I should write down.

She has taught ME to see the wonder and beauty in everything even more.  She has taught me that Pink is Good.  She will always keep me laughing and smiling and knowing that all is right with the world when Flora is in it.  She has taught me Love.

We have a treasure chest that is a rosemalled chest that my grandmother painted many years ago.  When the Boys were little I decided to put special gifts in it and told them that I heard knocking in the treasure chest.  To this day, the 8 year old BOYS still ask if I heard knocking in the treasure chest last night, and/or run upstairs to check it and now their little sister has also started asking and checking.  Most of the time it's empty of course, but on occasions when there are little gifts, everyone is happy.  Today was a sweet day with the treasure chest.  Flora & I went upstairs to check it, and when she opened it, instead of complaining that it was empty, she states, "Ooooh, it's full of kisses!!" and blows me a big kiss in the air.

THAT, my friends, is true Wonder.

for a friend ~

 

(click image to view larger)

Reverb - Moment

Day Three Reverb10 Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

Just ONE?

I really did have a spectacular summer and have had some beautiful, amazing moments this year.

Visiting beautiful peaceful Savannah, Georgia, walking the streets, watching the people from all over the world, smelling coffee on one corner and seafood on the other.  Walking on the beach at nearby Tybee Island, feeling nothing other than complete presence and peace, watching the waves flow in and out, and even feeling the sun beating so hard on your skin, knowing you're getting sunburned.  Oh but forgetting the sunscreen and being beet red and in pain for days was so worth the moment of seeing my mom actually walk on the beach without falling and for miles even (when she can't walk more than a few hundred feet without tiring at home), and knowing the peacefulness it was bringing to her heart as well.

Sitting in my garden at the height of summer, curled up in my purple chair, colored twinkly lights above me, a glass of wine in one hand, knowing that the only moment I had was right then and there.  I didn't have to be a caregiver or a friend, I didn't have to even be ME, I could just melt into the starry sky and full moon above me, sing with my heart as I danced through the ethers, looking for my one true love, hearing his voice calling me home.  There was no time, no space, and life just flowed in perfection.

See, I can't just pick one, I have to continue.  I'm a rebel.

I also felt so alive when the journey was hard, as odd as that sounds.  The days when I was exhausted to the core and I could not focus on more than getting dressed and getting food in my body.  That's it.  Couldn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, the thought just tired me out.  I would just sit on the couch, try to breathe, and then the phone would ring.  A friendly gentle voice would ask how I was, the tears would start to fall (as they are now again), and I would hear loving words of support that one never really feels or understands until there is no sense of hope left.  And then life would move on to the next "thing."  It was feeling vulnerable and lost and hopeless, which in turn becomes light and grace to carry me through.

There was a party I threw last summer.  Invited my favorite friends, and we dined in the backyard and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed.  Of all the beautiful faces and conversations, great food, and laughing, my favorite moment was standing in the garden with a friend who was admiring the flowers in my garden.  Standing next to each other, having him ask what each one was, knowing there was higher "work" being done, the rest of the world disappeared.  Then again I was caught up in the joy of being hostess, and in the moments when I did sit in the circle of my peeps, I knew I was loved, and my heart filled to bursting.

Moments with Flora, Kai & Kaedon and the rest of my family, with friends, on the North Shore, travelling, participating in a friends wedding, making art, walking around the lakes, eating great food and desserts ....  life has swell moments, doesn't it?

reverb - writing

Day Two Reverb10 Prompt:  Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?   (Author: Leo Babauta)

Welllll well well.

It has taken me all day to get to this post.  It kind of side swiped me.  Do I really want to focus on writing?  SO many people keep nudging me to write, but is it really what I want?

Well, yes, it is, actually.  I have been writing since I was a kid.  Journals were my daily friends all the way past college.  And then I stopped.  I am not sure why really, but I did.  There have been moments of journalling again over the years.  Nothing floats my boat with it though.  But then I started Whispers of Spirit with a friend.  I was forced to write again.  And then my own website evolution has asked me to write more.  Lately my inner guidance is asking me to write more as well.  I have things to share.  My inner critic, of course, screams, "What the hell do YOU have to share?!"  Even this morning a client/friend asked me about channeling, wondering if I was doing it.  Not sure why she asked it, I just said, "Yeah, I am getting to it."

So anyhow, when Reverb10 came up the other day, I knew it was a divinely timed moment.


I feel like there are numerous things in my day that are distractions, things that take me away from what I really *should* be doing.  But then again, I also trust in the Divine process of Life and know there are NO SHOULD's any time, any where.

BUT ... that being said, the bulk of my career and business is online, so I am on the computer for many hours a day.  I would hate to admit how much of that time is actually spent on facebook alone.  But much of even that is business and messaging friends, checking on events and Pages, etc.  Yep, excuses, those are.  I am an admitted multi-tasking junkie.  I can be chatting on IM with a friend while reading fb, downloading itunes, and working on my website simultaneously.  But is that healthy and wise?

Okay, so, YES, I can by all means eliminate some of my "wasted" time online.  I am choosing to be as efficient and quick as possible with emails, facebook, websites, etc, so that I can devote a minimum of a half hour a day writing.  Writing that includes this blog, my classes and workshops, and e-books that I have had in my head foreeeeeever, as well as channeling that seems to be pushing its way in.  A half hour might not seem like much, but to me, it is significant and I can actually get quite a bit done in that amount.  I choose to increase that amount after January 1.  :)

Rock on.

reverb - one word

Day One Reverb10 Prompt:One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author Gwen Bell)

Well.

Not necessarily an easy task since I have had a doooozy of a year.


But my one word would have to be CHANGE.


It started almost exactly one year ago.  Changed friends, changed my office, changed health (my mental health and my mom's health), changed my lifestyle (became primary caregiver for my mom through her cancer journey), changed my thoughts, beliefs, ideas about many many things, changed how I see the world, changed my own inner world.  

Yep.  

It was a lot.  Is a lot.  

And I am choosing to move forward each and every day in small and big ways.  Most people will not realize how BIG all this was, unless you look closely in my eyes, and how it is taking me so much longer than I ever EVER anticipated to "recover".  (Though I am not "recovering", I don't like that word.  I am moving forward, surrendering to the Divine, and being in the Moment.)


For 2011, I hope my word will be BRILLIANCE.


A dear friend tells me I am brilliant on a pretty regular basis.  I never believe him.  YET.  So I hope that throughout 2011 I can truly embody what he sees in my heart that I don't see/feel just yet, and to truly live with clarity, light, hope, and stunning bright I-gotta-wear-shades Brilliance.  I INTEND to be fully ME, to live from my heart wide open, and to welcome in ALL new experiences and connections and LOVE (in all forms).

So there.

:)

Reverb

So for whatever reason unbeknownst to me (my fingers just kind of signed up as my ......... as I just typed that a spider crawled out from under my laptop!!  a sign of creativity for sure!!  sheeeesh, okay, I get it, I am on the right path LOL .......... brain in a fog was "do I really have time for that?"), I joined Reverb for December.  It's an online blog project with prompts to write or create something each day.  It will be a great way for me to focus yet again (I did a similar photo project in August on another blog), especially as things are shifting and changing so quickly. 

And I know I need to write more.

And maybe it'll get my other writer friends blogging even MORE (and you know who you are)!

Maybe it'll get my spiritual community blogging more.  (If you want help starting a blog, lemme know.)

Maybe pigs will fly.

NO!  I'm sorry, just feeling snarky today.

Okay, so today's prompt is up next ....

Whoo hooo!

I am so grateful

My heart will truly shatter from how big and overwhelmingly grateful I am for the journey of this past year.  Hardest and crappiest year of my life? Sure.  But what I have gained for myself and my family is immeasurable.  The absolutely true friends who have been there for me without hesitation or personal agenda, as few as they may be, are the light of my life and there will never be enough words to thank them enough for their support, encouragement, and deep honest true LOVE.

This really is an absolutely New Beginning.

This holiday of Thanksgiving means more to me than it has in all my 40 years.

And if I don't shut up now, I'll cry even more.

All my unending LOVE and gratefulness flows to each and every one of you, whether you are close friend or customer, client or blog reader.

latest from Karen

Karen Bishop (formerly Emerging Earth Angels/What's Up On Planet Earth?) has been peeking around a little more often again.  Her latest update hits right on the head, as usual.  Sign up for her email list if you aren't already on it at www.emergingearthangels.com 

Here's her latest email: http://spiritlibrary.com/karen-bishop/planetary-update-nov-11-2010

Enjoy the ride!!

creativity!

Almost 20 years ago I picked up The Creative Companion by SARK.  It might sound goofy, but I actually do remember the first moment I saw the book on the shelf (in the very first Barnes & Noble in town). I saw it across the room, grabbed it without even opening it up, and brought it home to read the entire thing in one sitting.


It changed my life.

Yeah, sounds odd to have such memory about a book, but it opened my eyes to my own innate creativity that had been there as a kid and then just vanished due to life. Over the years I would buy her books as soon as they came out, and I have loved every single one. (Well, I take that back. I bought one on Friendship a few years ago and due to some unhealthy friendships at the time, found it too painful to read. I have to go back to read it now.) I have met her on several occassions at booksignings here in the Twin Cities and she is exactly like her books, a big messy (in a good way) redheaded firework of creativity.

She has a free teleclass coming up. I've participated in others and I love them. They ooze with self-care, creativity, inspiration, and love. Click the link below to sign up (full disclosure it is an affiliate link to support this blog).





Let me know if you participate what you think.

Blessings!

this is an important blog

I feel terribly obligated to make this a good blog.

You see, it is my 200th blog.

Sometimes I wonder what I could have possibly said 199 times!   It kind of boggles me.  I really do strive to write from my heart, share what I know, share what inspires me, and yeah, throw in some business stuff too.  But I don't always feel inspired to write these days, and I am not sure why.  I have deep blog guilt.  I read SO many amazing beautiful blogs every single day (114 in my googlereader, to be exact), and yet, here is my lowly little blog.

BUT ...

I have decided to

My blogging is perfect for me.  And it will improve, like the rest of my life.  It hasn't been the right timing to put into action all these ideas I have brewing.  It has been a year for ME to recover, regroup, recharge, renew, reevaluate, and to basically DIG REALLY DEEP to heal and find ME again.

And I slowly am coming out of my shell.

I am DONE staying small.

I am DONE with thinking I am not good enough.

I am DONE with caring what other people think or have thought or might think about me.

I have spent way too much energy protecting and guarding myself (even though I have needed it on many levels in many circumstances) and am ready to just fly free and not give a damn.

Yep.

Let the swearing begin.

There is SO much more to me than I have allowed to SHINE (or that people have squashed down, consciously or not) and I am ready to start letting it out.

It might be slow and in my own timing, but I will show the world who I really am!

Rock on!

See ya soon~~

if you need me ....

if you need me the next few days, this is where i'll be ...

(photo from roadfood.com, thanks!)

i'll be checking emails, but not much.

bliss and blessings to you!!!

abundant

relationships

Are your relationships changing?  Have friends left your life or how you interact with a family member is different?  Yeah, it's happening.  I've been thinking about this a lot lately. 

As we go through such big transformations (or subtle), E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G changes, from tiny things like how we breathe (hopefully its deeper and more) to big things like relationships, jobs, where we live, etc.  It is almost inevitable in some form (unless you are living under a rock).

As we let go of the things that we don't need any longer, like those old beliefs of "I'm not worthy enough" or "my past experience of opening my heart hurt me", as well as physical things and emotional ties, we become the stronger, brighter, even more light-filled people that we are meant to become.  As this happens, it might not always jive with the people around us.

And that is okay.

Well, I mean, it's a little hard at first, believe me, I know this from experience.

But over time, you will come to see that maybe those people were just gifts for a certain moment in time and they were not meant to be in your life for the long haul.  As much as we love people and *want* them to be, it is sometimes better to just let them go.

And then DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about it.

Our friends and family are reflections of ourselves.  Of our true inner being.  This might be a challenge for some of you to grasp, and that is perfectly okay.  Everyone in our lives is here to mirror and show us our beautiful glorious selves, as well as our inner maybe-not-so-glorious aspects of ourselves as well. 

Does someone in your life make you feel like a rockstar when you are together?  Fantastic! Rock on! This person just knows how to help you shine your light for the world to see!

Does another friend bring up deep emotional issues of self-worth because they are judgmental, critical, or disrespectful to your life path?  Great!  This is a gift!  No really, it IS!  They are just showing you that area of yourself that needs a little more LOVE. 

And yet .... (and you knew this was coming) ....

How you feel around this person might not be for your highest good ALL the time.  Consider where you are at in your life and what you want to focus on.  Maybe it is time for you to deal with the self-worth issues, to really look deep within yourself at why you feel less-than or unworthy of being your true self.  OR ... maybe it is an indication to speak your truth to this person that you are a beautiful amazing person that they don't really see (otherwise they might not be so critical).  OR ... maybe it is time to just walk away.

All scenarios are perfectly acceptable and will absolutely vary from person to person.

In my own life, I have had to step away from many, many people over the years (starting in my early 20's, so I know this lesson well!).  For one reason or another, people that have not supported my chosen path, have been misaligned with my intent, are so self-absorbed that they weren't a true friend, or for whatever reason, I have had to step into my own power to say either directly or indirectly, enough is enough.  I am not worthy of being stepped on, taken advantage of, our intents do not align with the highest good, and we simply do not need to be in each others energies.  It has been hard.  On many levels.  It is even harder when you thought you *really* truly knew and loved the friends and yet you still have to let them go from your life. 

But the GIFT of all these experiences has been that I can really see where people mirror me.  Every single experience has been exactly as it was meant to be for the time.  As shitty and emotional as some of the interactions were, I can honestly say each and every person has taught me so much.  Sure, I might miss one or two of these friends, but I know that at some point they might return to my life when we are both in better states of being.  Or not.  I am just fine with either scenario.  AND I have had friends I let go of come back into my life in perfect and divine ways, and even have heard, "I am so grateful we parted, it allowed me to become a better person."  What a blessing and I am so grateful to have a new friendship.

The relationships you have might also change as you are in them.  Right now I have a few different relationships that are so different from each other.  One dear dear friend of 7 years has not returned my phone calls for 6 weeks.  Another friend who might not know the real me on a physical level knows me so deeply on a soul level.  A person I was pretty close to for a long time seems to be just gone for now.  A new friend wants to get together for coffee and I just can't ever find time.  And all of these experiences are perfect.  My ego gets in the way every so often and wonders "what the hell?!" or "what did I do wrong?!" or "maybe I need to be more bold".   

But I know on a soul level that we are all exactly where we need to be right now.  All these friendships will shift and flow where they need to be in each moment, and I have no expectations or requirements about their "outcome."  I trust the friends and the Universe to guide us.  I also trust and know that the "right" friends (even though they are all right on some level) will ALLOW ME TO CHANGE and adapt to who I am in each moment, because honestly, I change a dozen times a day right now.

I have a whole LOT of beautiful people in my life that I know have my back and are there for me in any moment.  There have been old friends and acquaintances reappearing (thank god for facebook) from many different parts of my life and new people showing up, and they all are bringing such blessings to me (some of them I would have never ever predicted!).  My dearest closest friend right now is someone that I was initially very cautious of, but as we came together at the exact right moment, we have become such strong supports and mirrors for each other.  We have both grown so much this year and I would not be the same person without her.  Even if other people don't see her amazing light and gifts, I know the Universe conspired to bring us together.  We allow each other to change and grow, we have fun together, we do spiritual work together, and we also allow each other to be our own person.

I could not be more grateful.

My point is to allow your relationships to change.  Don't get stuck in the idea that because you have been friends with someone for 18 years you are required to stay friends for the rest of your life.  Be who YOU truly are in each moment and know that the people who are meant to stay in your life WILL.  Open your heart and stand in your own light.  Know the right people are always there at the right time.  Trust that each person will show you yourself and honor and love that person in each moment.  Only YOU will know who is meant to stay in your life.  I truly LOVE each and every person that has been in my life and always will (and that includes you, dear reader across the internetwaves!).  I am so blessed.

October?!

October 1?

Now wait just one minute.

What happened to September?  What happened to the whole summer, for that matter?

I seriously cannot wrap my head around the fact that it is FALL.  Like, autumn, leaves are changing color, it is getting cooler type fall.

I have looked at the golden tree's and seriously had the thought that that just isn't right, it's too early.

My brain has also seen all the leaves on my patio then done a "What the heck, where did these leaves come from?"

It just does not seem right.

Is it only me?

After some discussion with my mom, however, and my realizations that I can't STOP time, we have both come to the conclusion that time really did just STOP for us for a few months this year.  Everything came to a standstill while we attended to her health.  December through about April are seriously a blur, I can't remember too much.  Other than hospital stays, doctor's appointments, chemo sessions, panicked phone calls to dad....  It took all our effort just to get food in our bodies and then head off to whichever appointment she had.

Illness consumes everything.

Everything else just stopped.

Mom was officially cancer-free as of mid-June, after they removed her spleen.  Slowly but surely she started getting better.  In mid-July she took off for Atlanta for more recovery time.  And I really had GOOD SUMMER RELAXATION time for myself.  I ENJOYED every minute of it.  Soaked it all up and was finally feeling back to ME and in a groove of light and life.

And then "FALL" hit.  Kids back in school (not that I have my own, but my nephews), the collective consciousness of "let's start something new", getting my business ready for an expo at the end of September, etc.  BUSY.

Life just got BUSY with STUFF.

So now that I have a little breathing space again, this whole TIME thing is just throwing me for a loop.  It moves so FAST and I almost can't catch my breath.  There are so many projects on my to-do lists, and yet there never seems to be enough time in a day.  It is my lesson to really truly live in the MOMENT.

I guess I will just take one moment at a time, breathe, move in baby steps, and see what happens.

perfect protest

Holy tamoley where does the time go?!

I have been experiencing Blog Guilt for not updating lately.  But then I saw this post.

I am LIVING LIFE.  Even if it sometimes moves too fast.  And looooooordy knows I am so not perfect at it at ALL!  This post is especially timely for a friend of mine as well, who might want to pick up Brene's new book.  ;)

Back to life ....  But I WILL be back blogging soon!

biz stuff

Hey kiddo's!

I AM  s l o w l y  working on an email with updates about Crystalline Light business stuff.  It's been a long year of not really focusing on it, so I kind of feel like I am needing to re-launch, which is a *great* thing!  There are so many shifts in how I do my work and what I am offering.  But some quick notes I wanted to get out to you:

*Wednesday, September 15, I am in St Cloud at the fantastic Mind Body & Spirit offering Amethyst BioMat and Energy Healing sessions from 2:30 - 6:30 pm.  Call them for appointments.  www.mindbodyspirit-online.com

*Saturday, September 25, is the Hudson Holistic & Psychic Fair.  Come see me and Karen (plus Diana & Frank of Wind Water Harmony & Grateful Dowsing, as well as other great vendors & friends), pick up some new mists or crystals, experience an energy healing or reading, and just have fun!  www.bodylabusa.com

*I am in the midst of creating some new travel size mists, new essences, new jewelry, plus offering new services of custom essence or mist blends, social media consulting, website designing, etc etc (some of this I have already offered, but not made it as public as I am being pushed to now!).

*Even though I don't have a regular office location at the moment, you can still SHOP ANY time at my home office in St Paul.

*My classes are now going to be offered on a REQUEST basis.  Yep, you have to step up and actually VOICE what you'd like to learn or experience.  ;)  I'll still schedule a few things as nudged, however, including a new Social Media & Marketing for Holistic Practitioners and Spiritual Empowerment classes.  Contact me for details or to request!  Thanks~

FULL details about all this will be on my email newsletter SOON!  (Like Monday!)  If you haven't signed up for it yet, you can do so HERE.

Thanks all!!  Blessings!

more on being human

I am so grateful to be able to share my spontaneous thoughts with you via video (see previous post), but aaalllllll day long something kept nudging at me about clarification about being human and spiritual.  Hopefully it won't make it more confusing. ;)

We are multi-dimensional beings.  We live simultaneously in many dimensions and realms at once, AND we are in the process of moving into a fifth dimensional world (and beyond).  The human bodies we are given are a HUGE gift. 

Every. other. dimension. and. realm. is looking to US, the little teeeeeeny tiny humans, to learn and experience and to see if we can actually pull it off this time.  We are in the process of NOT blowing up the world.  By shifting out vibration higher, to more light and LOVE, we are consciously choosing to alter a 26,000 year cycle that in eons past, we had decided to blow up our existence and start over.

We are not starting over this time.

We are still going. 


On purpose.

THIS little fact is important because these human bodies we have are unique.  NO ONE ELSE in the universe has them.  And no one else gets to EXPERIENCE life in all its joys and sorrows and rollercoasters and LOVEliness. Why would you not want to experience everything, all the goodness as well as the sucks and hurts and it makes you cry moments?  There is so much MORE goodness and light and FUN and joy and giggling and true pure freedom that makes it all worthwhile.

So to be able to be in our human bodies while ALSO allowing for our deep connection to God/Source/ethers/Universe whatever you want to name it for yourself, is a rare thing.  We can stay connected in all those other levels, and I really ENCOURAGE you to, because it is a GRAND journey to be aware and connected.  Our lessons will stay the same no matter where we operate from.  I can kinda maybe guarantee that when you are grounded in your physical body, however, the lessons won't be as hard, because we have the tools to deal with them.  There is not any less awareness or connection when we are grounded in our bodies, nor is there any judgment for being too spiritual or not human enough.  We can allow ourselves to be both.

It really doesn't have to be hard to be human.

We have choice to make each moment easy or sucky.

But to be able to have the choice while also connected to our spiritual selves and the Divine realm of possibility makes it all so much easier and FLOWY and GOOD.  Even if our choice is sucky, we can stay connected, learn what we need to learn, and get on with it so much quicker than if we choose to ignore the spiritual aspects of ourselves.

The intuitive divine flow of creation is there waiting for us to tap into it.  Even while we are still in our bodies.

So why not jump in?!  The water is fine!

And do keep breathing.  Deeply.  And often.  Well, don't stop, actually.

Connect within yourself, feel your connection to God, feel the connection to the earth, and boom shake it like a true multi-dimensional human!


You will rock it!

Ciao for now!

Being Human & Spiritual

Rules for Being Human

Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott's Rules of Life:


The Ten Rules For Being Human

Rule One - You will receive a body.
You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "life". Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much as a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can go on to the next lesson.

Rule Five - Learning does not end.
There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will look better to you than your present "here".

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you.
All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth.
You can remember it if you want by unraveling the double helic of inner-knowing.



http://www.drcherie.com/rules_for_being_human.php

You Are Loved

Just have to share a few links ... josh groban has such beautiful light and talent, and has brought me a great amount of relief and inspiration and comfort tonight and over the years. Enjoy and let both (two links here) soak into your being!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnztMhtUF6o

blessings

Life has been a little bit in chaos lately.

But it's okay, it's all temporary as I clear out the old and move into the New.

This morning I was feeling so blessed and it was from the simplest things.

I was visiting a favorite farmers market that is in a beautiful setting.  Next to the river, in a renovated Mill, with a stunningly blue sky and perfect fall day (even though I refuse to admit it is fall yet, because technically its NOT).  A light breeze that felt so crisp and clean.  Just seeing all the colors, the bounty of a summer of hard work in the gardens, the creations of all the independent food and craft artisans ... it is a sight to behold.  Purchasing yummy veggies, smoked trout, divine chevre cheese, and sampling a little lavender chocolate is such a simple thing really.

I ran into good friends, we stood to chat just for a few minutes. 

The whole hour or so made me feel so blessed.  

And THEN to realize I *could* have gone to the bathroom in the Guthrie Theatre next door (I didn't, my meter was running out, but I HAVE in the past)!  I mean, hello, WHERE else on earth can you do THAT?!  One of the greatest theatre's in the country! 

Bliss.

Where do you find your joys?

clearing clutter

I have been attempting to clear clutter from my bedroom and office for a few weeks.  It's not horrible, just piles of papers, rocks, beads, etc, that are taking up room.  This morning I cleared off one bookshelf that had all this little stuff piled up.  Just put it all in a box and will divvy it up this afternoon to its various homes or recycling.

Wouldn't ya know it, within about a half hour, I felt better?

The past few days have been a challenge of emotions and really tuning within myself to clear some old beliefs that I don't want to hang to any longer.  It's all good, but the process is not always fun.  Looking at yourself and really truly changing is a hard thing, but in the "end" (though there really is no ending), we are always "rewarded" or bumped up to another level of being that is much more supportive and "light".

Clutter can hold us up from moving forward.  And clutter can take many forms, whether physical, emotional, mental, etc.  My own emotional clutter had me stymied.  As has been said numerous times over the recent years and months and weeks, anything that is not enhancing or serving our life in a positive way simply WILL NOT remain in our life.  As much as we may want it to or *think* that a belief or person or couch is really for our highest good, the Universe will make it VERY clear if it is not supposed to remain in your life.  What we resist, persists.  When we move into the flow of the Divine, the Divine will rearrange itself to bring us to where we need to be always.

Our ego's are really good at the games of keeping us at comfortable levels of being, what we know to be easy and comfortable is always going to be such unless we release the hold on our mind and what we THINK we know to be true.  When we look within ourselves or our hearts for the answers, we will really truly find the heart of what space we are meant to occupy.

So once we stop resisting and just surrender to the flow of the Universe, we will be guided and supported in ways we cannot even imagine at this point.  There is so much more available to us than we can comprehend, and I think it is purposely designed that way, so that we don't freak out.  We need to just believe and KNOW that we are supported in ALL ways.  When we ALLOW ourselves to accept our own innate Divinity as whole and perfect, everything else falls into place.

The times right now are SO supportive of clearing out physical possessions, relationships, thought patterns, beliefs, old pots and pans, clothes that don't fit, etc.  MOST of my friends and clients are in this process right now whether they want to be or not.  I certainly don't like to be here, but when it is in my face that it has to CHANGE, why fight it?  It just gets harder and harder if we ignore it.

Movement WILL and does happen when the clutter is cleared.  On so many levels.  Trusting in the process is HUGE.

~*On a side note: this post has taken me ALL day, okay well more like 4 hours, to write.  As I started writing I found myself distracted by many other things -- CLUTTER -- as well as my own belief about being able to say the "right" words.  Now that I can accept within myself that it's not possible to say the wrong words and I can just say whatever the hell I need to, it is flowing much easier. :-D

Soooo don't know if this all makes sense, but that's all.

blessings!