Reverb - Lesson Learned

Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?  (Author: Tara Weaver)

Resiliency.

I have always thought I was very resilient.  There have been so many experiences in my life that have been challenging and stupid and well, Life.  Every single time, however, I am able to get up, brush myself off, and move on.

This year, I wasn't so sure that was going to happen.

I really did wonder at times if the pain and the caregiving and the digging deep within would kill me.  Seriously.  There were so many moments of "what the hell have I done with my life?" and "OMG please just take me home NOW, God, NOW NOW NOW!"  The typical Jennifer who would see beyond whatever experience I'd just had seemed to have died.  In some respect, a large part of me has died this past year.  But it's okay.  I needed it to and wanted it to.  But it has taken me so much longer to bounce back.

It might be because of how BIG things were this year.

It might be because it was going to my deep inner core to see who I really was/AM.

And still, it might be because this just was my year of Big Ass Shifting.

Finally, eventually, I did see that I am still resilient.  And now maybe it's even stronger, ironically.  I am moving forward, and in a whole new way and with whole new eyes and knowing of who I am.  I am strong, flexible, honorable, respecting, deep, willing, honest, loving, and even beautiful.  A few people might not see the changes in me, or be willing to see them, but all that matters is myself, right?

I know I am Love, I know I am Loved, and I know there is nothing, NOTHING, that will break my spirit or kill my soul.

I apply this lesson daily, knowing that each moment asks us to move to the next moment, no matter what it might bring.  It is digging deep into the unending well of Life and LOVE.  Resiliency is our faith that life has hope.

At least I damn well hope so.



(And just now, a lot of these posts might seem self-serving, petty, or just weird, but they are my life and through Reverb I am clearing all the old to make way for the new.  Rock on.  Thanks.)