use your Voice

It's not always easy for us to speak our Truth.  Some people just naturally can say whatever they want to, not worry about consequences or who they might offend or piss off.  Others, including myself, either never know what to say in the moment or are concerned about what impact my words may have on someone else. 

Or, I just don't want to share. 

Speaking your words is not always the best option either. 

Hurt and pain can at times be expressed as anger and judgment, and when those moments come up, I ask myself if expressing those feelings will hurt or help me.  I can still express my pain through means of writing or creating or moving my body, rather than verbally speaking to the person or situation that hurt me.  As long as it does not stay stuck in my body, we're good.

In the past few months I have experienced deep pain, hurt, grief, sorrow ... all those icky emotions we never want to feel.  Loss and change is a constant in life, and most of the time it is easy for me to shift and change, to go with the flow, to adapt. 

This time, however, I felt like I got sideswiped out of nowhere, with no logical reasons (mostly, my mom having cancer is one aspect), and with no explanations.  The reality, though mainly on very energetic and subtle multi-dimensional levels, was completely different and it was all very calculated and manipulated. 

Seeing the bigger picture of this put some things in perspective, but it didn't make it any easier.  My grief as a human 3D person was still there.  My expression may never be verbal, and I am not sure I need it to be at this point, but I have still expressed it through my blog, through moving my body in new ways, and through deep soul searching and higher guidance.

I found great inspiration in Leonie's blog today, and am so grateful for her on numerous occasions.

It reminded me that my VOICE, while something I have struggled with since I was a child, is just as valid and important as others.  I have not had an opportunity to use my voice constructively in my experiences of loss and grief in the past few months.  If it comes up, I feel ready and strong to use my voice in a way that will hopefully heal and Love. 

My heart is still healing, still in process, but it is opening again, slowly, bit by bit. 

I am trusting that it won't get hurt again (though I know it probably will) and TRUSTING that I am always guided to where I need to be in each moment. 

I trust that my Voice will be heard in all future experiences, and I CHOOSE to have my voice heard in a new way.