sharing

I had a great weekend.  I was honored to spend time with a friend from out of town and a new-er friend, had great sushi, did some awesome healings at a fair, then experienced a fantastic meditation and channeling, among other things.  Of course I am tired from all this activity that my body is not accustomed to again (after a long still winter), so I came home and just sat in my garden for a bit to relax and ground.  It was a lovely ending to an even better weekend.

And then I wanted to pick up the phone to call a friend I have not spoken to for a quite a while.  I wanted to share every detail of the weekend, which we would have normally done with great joy and enthusiasm previously.  It was always a highlight of my day when we could mutually share and process our lives.  So today it was an odd sensation after not feeling it for so long.  It took me by surprise.

In this new paradigm of living from our hearts and doing what gives us joy, it can be a challenge to not follow those impulses.  Every cell in my body was ready to talk to her, yet was it my ego that was holding me back, saying, "Oh she hurt you, it would be really weird, you're both not in the same place anymore, etc"?  Or was it a moment of clarity that really all we have is this moment and who cares what has happened in the past, it's the past, and if your heart wants to connect, connect.

After hearing in a channeling today about how we need to live in the JOY and LOVE, how we just need to ALLOW rather than "do", do I allow a shift into a new relationship with a friend that isn't on the same page and have essentially let go?  As a human in a spiritual experience it's a tough one for me, but I am being open to a new perspective in every single thing, looking for how things can be new and different and better.

Until I figure it out (or not), I am just breathing through it, opening my heart, and allowing what happens to happen.