Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)
Dear Jennifer~
Oh beautiful Jennifer, what a difference in life 5 years makes, huh? I am so proud of you and all the amazing shifts and changes you have made. Your life has opened up in ways you just couldn't imagine five years ago, didn't it? All those years of hard work and patience helped you create such a beautiful, loving, divine life. Think about where you were in 2010. Wasn't it just unreal, in some respect? So hard, so many lessons, but yet so many moments of bliss and connection.
But NOW ... NOW you have so much MORE! You have it all and there is more to come!!
I want to remind you, however, of a few things to come in 2011. You will GROW! You will find that everything you have done in your life up until now has led to this moment. You will gain new connections and resources that allow your life AND businesses to thrive in ALL ways! There will be personal insights and connections, new people, new levels of consciousness ...
All it takes is FAITH, COURAGE, and LOVE.
You have always had all three, but they've waivered a bit in the past years. Faith is what will keep you strong, it will bring you the courage you need to move forward, and of course, LOVE is at the center of it all, always, and it just always GROWS. And yes, there will be romantic love this year too. You are ready and you have no idea what JOY is to come! ;)
2011 will be your best year yet! (But it will just continue to get better and better .....)
So my reminders to you:
Open your heart!
Follow your heart!
Trust!
Go on FAITH!
Take the steps with COURAGE!
BE FEARLESS!
Keep writing!
Keep shining!
Always find your JOY!
You have ALL THAT YOU NEED WITHIN!!!
Yes, you really do!!
Now go to it! The world is waiting for you and your amazing creations and Love!
I LOVE YOU!!!
To infinity and beyond~~
jennifer
Showing posts with label inner self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inner self. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
reverb - Wisdom
Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
This prompt hasn't been easy to write. I really could have written about the most obvious decision I made this year (well, end of '09), but it didn't feel right. There were a lot of small decisions I made this year that really played out beautifully and unexpectedly.
But what my heart wants you to know is about my decision to Find My Self.
I didn't realize how lost I'd been. Yes, I functioned and operated in the world as best I could. I really did think I knew myself. I was confident in my work, family, who I was. There really was no reason for me to believe I had any inner or personal work to do. I did all my emotional work 10+ years ago as I started on my spiritual path, been through years of traditional therapy. I thought I was "done" with all that soul seeking.
Ha!
Eventually something started cracking. My heart couldn't take it any longer, and all the years of looking outside myself for the answers finally forced me to look within myself. I'd had all these notions of who I was, who my friends thought I was, I took on ideas of other teachers and writers without a second thought. But did I really hold the same beliefs or concepts? Not really. I was lost in the game of "let's do everything we can before we really have to look at our own shit."
So I disappeared.
Not literally, of course, but I really sank within myself for many months, and to some degree, am still there. It was the year of letting go, of surrendering all that I thought was serving my life but really wasn't. Of letting my life just BE whatever it needed to be in each moment. For the first part of the year it was being in the moment of role as a caregiver, being able to drop everything to take my mom to the emergency room for the 3rd time or to her chemo session. My Outer Self really was present and on guard for her. Disappearing from the outside world was easier than I would have thought. But on such a deep soul level, I really needed it. My businesses and livelihood as taken a big hit because of it. I see it as a fair exchange for finding the start of who I really AM, however.
At the same time, my inner Self (and physical self) was crying every day, looking for one tiny bit of respite and peace, and really asking that the beliefs, thoughts, habits, patterns, soul agreements, contracts, etc, that didn't serve me any more be released from my life. I chose to sink into my inner world and explore, to look at the deep parts of myself that I haven't wanted to look at, ever. To see myself from a God Perspective and to see what wasn't 'real'. It wasn't easy, believe me. There were parts of myself that were ugly and sad. But I started doing my work. The inner work of releasing the old and seeing the true, beautiful, absolutely perfect being I AM.
I still have a long ways to go.
It's an ongoing process of knowing deep within myself that I am worthy of all the beauty and joy the world has to offer. Of actually believing that I AM God. It certainly is shifting how I see the world and how I present myself to the world. Slowly, bit by bit, I am coming out of my shell, seeking the world again. Forgive me if I dip my feet in and then run back to shore for a bit. It feels like this is the biggest, deepest, hardest, and yet most rewarding process I will go through in my LIFE. (And if you see my astrology transit chart for this year, reading "once in a lifetime transit" every other paragraph is not really fun, but now, it all makes so much sense.)
Finding My SELF.
Yep, still playing out. And still so rewarding.
This prompt hasn't been easy to write. I really could have written about the most obvious decision I made this year (well, end of '09), but it didn't feel right. There were a lot of small decisions I made this year that really played out beautifully and unexpectedly.
But what my heart wants you to know is about my decision to Find My Self.
I didn't realize how lost I'd been. Yes, I functioned and operated in the world as best I could. I really did think I knew myself. I was confident in my work, family, who I was. There really was no reason for me to believe I had any inner or personal work to do. I did all my emotional work 10+ years ago as I started on my spiritual path, been through years of traditional therapy. I thought I was "done" with all that soul seeking.
Ha!
Eventually something started cracking. My heart couldn't take it any longer, and all the years of looking outside myself for the answers finally forced me to look within myself. I'd had all these notions of who I was, who my friends thought I was, I took on ideas of other teachers and writers without a second thought. But did I really hold the same beliefs or concepts? Not really. I was lost in the game of "let's do everything we can before we really have to look at our own shit."
So I disappeared.
Not literally, of course, but I really sank within myself for many months, and to some degree, am still there. It was the year of letting go, of surrendering all that I thought was serving my life but really wasn't. Of letting my life just BE whatever it needed to be in each moment. For the first part of the year it was being in the moment of role as a caregiver, being able to drop everything to take my mom to the emergency room for the 3rd time or to her chemo session. My Outer Self really was present and on guard for her. Disappearing from the outside world was easier than I would have thought. But on such a deep soul level, I really needed it. My businesses and livelihood as taken a big hit because of it. I see it as a fair exchange for finding the start of who I really AM, however.
At the same time, my inner Self (and physical self) was crying every day, looking for one tiny bit of respite and peace, and really asking that the beliefs, thoughts, habits, patterns, soul agreements, contracts, etc, that didn't serve me any more be released from my life. I chose to sink into my inner world and explore, to look at the deep parts of myself that I haven't wanted to look at, ever. To see myself from a God Perspective and to see what wasn't 'real'. It wasn't easy, believe me. There were parts of myself that were ugly and sad. But I started doing my work. The inner work of releasing the old and seeing the true, beautiful, absolutely perfect being I AM.
I still have a long ways to go.
It's an ongoing process of knowing deep within myself that I am worthy of all the beauty and joy the world has to offer. Of actually believing that I AM God. It certainly is shifting how I see the world and how I present myself to the world. Slowly, bit by bit, I am coming out of my shell, seeking the world again. Forgive me if I dip my feet in and then run back to shore for a bit. It feels like this is the biggest, deepest, hardest, and yet most rewarding process I will go through in my LIFE. (And if you see my astrology transit chart for this year, reading "once in a lifetime transit" every other paragraph is not really fun, but now, it all makes so much sense.)
Finding My SELF.
Yep, still playing out. And still so rewarding.
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