Today's Reverb10 Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)
My goodness these prompt for Reverb sure to get me thinking about the Divine Order of things! Like so many prompts, this one is so timely and just nails one of the biggest aspects of my year.
I would have never predicted or hoped for what happened with my friendships this year. And I no longer have any concern about being honest about it, since I need to speak my truth and honestly, I don't give a damn about what others might think any more.
I lost a few friends this year. Not by choice, by any means. It was the unfortunate (but not really, now I see it as very fortunate) side effect of moving out of my office one year ago. Things happened, things didn't happen, there really is no reason for details. It was a slow descent that happened over time. And while for many months I dearly missed those friends whom I'd come to know and feel were truly my soulsisters, they weren't meant to stay in my life. They taught me a lot. We had many amazing fun times. It was all divine, of course.
Our parting wasn't easy, even though others claimed it was done in Love and we'd keep our friendship intact. Luckily, by the grace of God, I grew from this shitty experience, as it forced me to really look at who I was, to know within myself that I am NOT the bad person they made me out to be, and to know they truly were mirrors for me in both light and dark. I don't blame anyone, I don't see them as less than Divine, I accepted my responsibility in it all and did what I could to the best of my ability, and I truly hope that their lives become whole and rich and aligned with Love.
Within the muck and pain and confusion, however, came a tiny ray of hope. An unlikely friendship formed. An acquaintance from this group of friends and I decided to meet for coffee one day. It was divinely timed and I was so surprised to find out she wasn't really what the others had made her out to be and what even I thought her to be. There was big caution, of course, considering what I'd just experienced. Slowly, I came to know this beautiful person who opened my eyes to many new things, and I call her Friend. We're alike in so many ways, yet have differences. And it works.
We grew together over this past year, sharing our different though similar experiences. We've both supported and encouraged each other through big transformations and shifts, we know how to be friends to each other, and it's a mutual respect for who we are. I honestly do not know how I would have "recovered" from the past year without her friendship. Others might not see it or understand the unlikely friendship. But it is one of most rewarding and I will never be able to tell her how grateful I am for her presence in my life. I am so so soooo blessed.
And my mom likes her.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, December 03, 2010
Reverb - Moment
Day Three Reverb10 Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
Just ONE?
I really did have a spectacular summer and have had some beautiful, amazing moments this year.
Visiting beautiful peaceful Savannah, Georgia, walking the streets, watching the people from all over the world, smelling coffee on one corner and seafood on the other. Walking on the beach at nearby Tybee Island, feeling nothing other than complete presence and peace, watching the waves flow in and out, and even feeling the sun beating so hard on your skin, knowing you're getting sunburned. Oh but forgetting the sunscreen and being beet red and in pain for days was so worth the moment of seeing my mom actually walk on the beach without falling and for miles even (when she can't walk more than a few hundred feet without tiring at home), and knowing the peacefulness it was bringing to her heart as well.
Sitting in my garden at the height of summer, curled up in my purple chair, colored twinkly lights above me, a glass of wine in one hand, knowing that the only moment I had was right then and there. I didn't have to be a caregiver or a friend, I didn't have to even be ME, I could just melt into the starry sky and full moon above me, sing with my heart as I danced through the ethers, looking for my one true love, hearing his voice calling me home. There was no time, no space, and life just flowed in perfection.
See, I can't just pick one, I have to continue. I'm a rebel.
I also felt so alive when the journey was hard, as odd as that sounds. The days when I was exhausted to the core and I could not focus on more than getting dressed and getting food in my body. That's it. Couldn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, the thought just tired me out. I would just sit on the couch, try to breathe, and then the phone would ring. A friendly gentle voice would ask how I was, the tears would start to fall (as they are now again), and I would hear loving words of support that one never really feels or understands until there is no sense of hope left. And then life would move on to the next "thing." It was feeling vulnerable and lost and hopeless, which in turn becomes light and grace to carry me through.
There was a party I threw last summer. Invited my favorite friends, and we dined in the backyard and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed. Of all the beautiful faces and conversations, great food, and laughing, my favorite moment was standing in the garden with a friend who was admiring the flowers in my garden. Standing next to each other, having him ask what each one was, knowing there was higher "work" being done, the rest of the world disappeared. Then again I was caught up in the joy of being hostess, and in the moments when I did sit in the circle of my peeps, I knew I was loved, and my heart filled to bursting.
Moments with Flora, Kai & Kaedon and the rest of my family, with friends, on the North Shore, travelling, participating in a friends wedding, making art, walking around the lakes, eating great food and desserts .... life has swell moments, doesn't it?
Just ONE?
I really did have a spectacular summer and have had some beautiful, amazing moments this year.
Visiting beautiful peaceful Savannah, Georgia, walking the streets, watching the people from all over the world, smelling coffee on one corner and seafood on the other. Walking on the beach at nearby Tybee Island, feeling nothing other than complete presence and peace, watching the waves flow in and out, and even feeling the sun beating so hard on your skin, knowing you're getting sunburned. Oh but forgetting the sunscreen and being beet red and in pain for days was so worth the moment of seeing my mom actually walk on the beach without falling and for miles even (when she can't walk more than a few hundred feet without tiring at home), and knowing the peacefulness it was bringing to her heart as well.
Sitting in my garden at the height of summer, curled up in my purple chair, colored twinkly lights above me, a glass of wine in one hand, knowing that the only moment I had was right then and there. I didn't have to be a caregiver or a friend, I didn't have to even be ME, I could just melt into the starry sky and full moon above me, sing with my heart as I danced through the ethers, looking for my one true love, hearing his voice calling me home. There was no time, no space, and life just flowed in perfection.
See, I can't just pick one, I have to continue. I'm a rebel.
I also felt so alive when the journey was hard, as odd as that sounds. The days when I was exhausted to the core and I could not focus on more than getting dressed and getting food in my body. That's it. Couldn't even wash my face or brush my teeth, the thought just tired me out. I would just sit on the couch, try to breathe, and then the phone would ring. A friendly gentle voice would ask how I was, the tears would start to fall (as they are now again), and I would hear loving words of support that one never really feels or understands until there is no sense of hope left. And then life would move on to the next "thing." It was feeling vulnerable and lost and hopeless, which in turn becomes light and grace to carry me through.
There was a party I threw last summer. Invited my favorite friends, and we dined in the backyard and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed. Of all the beautiful faces and conversations, great food, and laughing, my favorite moment was standing in the garden with a friend who was admiring the flowers in my garden. Standing next to each other, having him ask what each one was, knowing there was higher "work" being done, the rest of the world disappeared. Then again I was caught up in the joy of being hostess, and in the moments when I did sit in the circle of my peeps, I knew I was loved, and my heart filled to bursting.
Moments with Flora, Kai & Kaedon and the rest of my family, with friends, on the North Shore, travelling, participating in a friends wedding, making art, walking around the lakes, eating great food and desserts .... life has swell moments, doesn't it?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
relationships
Are your relationships changing? Have friends left your life or how you interact with a family member is different? Yeah, it's happening. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
As we go through such big transformations (or subtle), E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G changes, from tiny things like how we breathe (hopefully its deeper and more) to big things like relationships, jobs, where we live, etc. It is almost inevitable in some form (unless you are living under a rock).
As we let go of the things that we don't need any longer, like those old beliefs of "I'm not worthy enough" or "my past experience of opening my heart hurt me", as well as physical things and emotional ties, we become the stronger, brighter, even more light-filled people that we are meant to become. As this happens, it might not always jive with the people around us.
And that is okay.
Well, I mean, it's a little hard at first, believe me, I know this from experience.
But over time, you will come to see that maybe those people were just gifts for a certain moment in time and they were not meant to be in your life for the long haul. As much as we love people and *want* them to be, it is sometimes better to just let them go.
And then DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about it.
Our friends and family are reflections of ourselves. Of our true inner being. This might be a challenge for some of you to grasp, and that is perfectly okay. Everyone in our lives is here to mirror and show us our beautiful glorious selves, as well as our inner maybe-not-so-glorious aspects of ourselves as well.
Does someone in your life make you feel like a rockstar when you are together? Fantastic! Rock on! This person just knows how to help you shine your light for the world to see!
Does another friend bring up deep emotional issues of self-worth because they are judgmental, critical, or disrespectful to your life path? Great! This is a gift! No really, it IS! They are just showing you that area of yourself that needs a little more LOVE.
And yet .... (and you knew this was coming) ....
How you feel around this person might not be for your highest good ALL the time. Consider where you are at in your life and what you want to focus on. Maybe it is time for you to deal with the self-worth issues, to really look deep within yourself at why you feel less-than or unworthy of being your true self. OR ... maybe it is an indication to speak your truth to this person that you are a beautiful amazing person that they don't really see (otherwise they might not be so critical). OR ... maybe it is time to just walk away.
All scenarios are perfectly acceptable and will absolutely vary from person to person.
In my own life, I have had to step away from many, many people over the years (starting in my early 20's, so I know this lesson well!). For one reason or another, people that have not supported my chosen path, have been misaligned with my intent, are so self-absorbed that they weren't a true friend, or for whatever reason, I have had to step into my own power to say either directly or indirectly, enough is enough. I am not worthy of being stepped on, taken advantage of, our intents do not align with the highest good, and we simply do not need to be in each others energies. It has been hard. On many levels. It is even harder when you thought you *really* truly knew and loved the friends and yet you still have to let them go from your life.
But the GIFT of all these experiences has been that I can really see where people mirror me. Every single experience has been exactly as it was meant to be for the time. As shitty and emotional as some of the interactions were, I can honestly say each and every person has taught me so much. Sure, I might miss one or two of these friends, but I know that at some point they might return to my life when we are both in better states of being. Or not. I am just fine with either scenario. AND I have had friends I let go of come back into my life in perfect and divine ways, and even have heard, "I am so grateful we parted, it allowed me to become a better person." What a blessing and I am so grateful to have a new friendship.
The relationships you have might also change as you are in them. Right now I have a few different relationships that are so different from each other. One dear dear friend of 7 years has not returned my phone calls for 6 weeks. Another friend who might not know the real me on a physical level knows me so deeply on a soul level. A person I was pretty close to for a long time seems to be just gone for now. A new friend wants to get together for coffee and I just can't ever find time. And all of these experiences are perfect. My ego gets in the way every so often and wonders "what the hell?!" or "what did I do wrong?!" or "maybe I need to be more bold".
But I know on a soul level that we are all exactly where we need to be right now. All these friendships will shift and flow where they need to be in each moment, and I have no expectations or requirements about their "outcome." I trust the friends and the Universe to guide us. I also trust and know that the "right" friends (even though they are all right on some level) will ALLOW ME TO CHANGE and adapt to who I am in each moment, because honestly, I change a dozen times a day right now.
I have a whole LOT of beautiful people in my life that I know have my back and are there for me in any moment. There have been old friends and acquaintances reappearing (thank god for facebook) from many different parts of my life and new people showing up, and they all are bringing such blessings to me (some of them I would have never ever predicted!). My dearest closest friend right now is someone that I was initially very cautious of, but as we came together at the exact right moment, we have become such strong supports and mirrors for each other. We have both grown so much this year and I would not be the same person without her. Even if other people don't see her amazing light and gifts, I know the Universe conspired to bring us together. We allow each other to change and grow, we have fun together, we do spiritual work together, and we also allow each other to be our own person.
I could not be more grateful.
My point is to allow your relationships to change. Don't get stuck in the idea that because you have been friends with someone for 18 years you are required to stay friends for the rest of your life. Be who YOU truly are in each moment and know that the people who are meant to stay in your life WILL. Open your heart and stand in your own light. Know the right people are always there at the right time. Trust that each person will show you yourself and honor and love that person in each moment. Only YOU will know who is meant to stay in your life. I truly LOVE each and every person that has been in my life and always will (and that includes you, dear reader across the internetwaves!). I am so blessed.
As we go through such big transformations (or subtle), E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G changes, from tiny things like how we breathe (hopefully its deeper and more) to big things like relationships, jobs, where we live, etc. It is almost inevitable in some form (unless you are living under a rock).
As we let go of the things that we don't need any longer, like those old beliefs of "I'm not worthy enough" or "my past experience of opening my heart hurt me", as well as physical things and emotional ties, we become the stronger, brighter, even more light-filled people that we are meant to become. As this happens, it might not always jive with the people around us.
And that is okay.
Well, I mean, it's a little hard at first, believe me, I know this from experience.
But over time, you will come to see that maybe those people were just gifts for a certain moment in time and they were not meant to be in your life for the long haul. As much as we love people and *want* them to be, it is sometimes better to just let them go.
And then DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about it.
Our friends and family are reflections of ourselves. Of our true inner being. This might be a challenge for some of you to grasp, and that is perfectly okay. Everyone in our lives is here to mirror and show us our beautiful glorious selves, as well as our inner maybe-not-so-glorious aspects of ourselves as well.
Does someone in your life make you feel like a rockstar when you are together? Fantastic! Rock on! This person just knows how to help you shine your light for the world to see!
Does another friend bring up deep emotional issues of self-worth because they are judgmental, critical, or disrespectful to your life path? Great! This is a gift! No really, it IS! They are just showing you that area of yourself that needs a little more LOVE.
And yet .... (and you knew this was coming) ....
How you feel around this person might not be for your highest good ALL the time. Consider where you are at in your life and what you want to focus on. Maybe it is time for you to deal with the self-worth issues, to really look deep within yourself at why you feel less-than or unworthy of being your true self. OR ... maybe it is an indication to speak your truth to this person that you are a beautiful amazing person that they don't really see (otherwise they might not be so critical). OR ... maybe it is time to just walk away.
All scenarios are perfectly acceptable and will absolutely vary from person to person.
In my own life, I have had to step away from many, many people over the years (starting in my early 20's, so I know this lesson well!). For one reason or another, people that have not supported my chosen path, have been misaligned with my intent, are so self-absorbed that they weren't a true friend, or for whatever reason, I have had to step into my own power to say either directly or indirectly, enough is enough. I am not worthy of being stepped on, taken advantage of, our intents do not align with the highest good, and we simply do not need to be in each others energies. It has been hard. On many levels. It is even harder when you thought you *really* truly knew and loved the friends and yet you still have to let them go from your life.
But the GIFT of all these experiences has been that I can really see where people mirror me. Every single experience has been exactly as it was meant to be for the time. As shitty and emotional as some of the interactions were, I can honestly say each and every person has taught me so much. Sure, I might miss one or two of these friends, but I know that at some point they might return to my life when we are both in better states of being. Or not. I am just fine with either scenario. AND I have had friends I let go of come back into my life in perfect and divine ways, and even have heard, "I am so grateful we parted, it allowed me to become a better person." What a blessing and I am so grateful to have a new friendship.
The relationships you have might also change as you are in them. Right now I have a few different relationships that are so different from each other. One dear dear friend of 7 years has not returned my phone calls for 6 weeks. Another friend who might not know the real me on a physical level knows me so deeply on a soul level. A person I was pretty close to for a long time seems to be just gone for now. A new friend wants to get together for coffee and I just can't ever find time. And all of these experiences are perfect. My ego gets in the way every so often and wonders "what the hell?!" or "what did I do wrong?!" or "maybe I need to be more bold".
But I know on a soul level that we are all exactly where we need to be right now. All these friendships will shift and flow where they need to be in each moment, and I have no expectations or requirements about their "outcome." I trust the friends and the Universe to guide us. I also trust and know that the "right" friends (even though they are all right on some level) will ALLOW ME TO CHANGE and adapt to who I am in each moment, because honestly, I change a dozen times a day right now.
I have a whole LOT of beautiful people in my life that I know have my back and are there for me in any moment. There have been old friends and acquaintances reappearing (thank god for facebook) from many different parts of my life and new people showing up, and they all are bringing such blessings to me (some of them I would have never ever predicted!). My dearest closest friend right now is someone that I was initially very cautious of, but as we came together at the exact right moment, we have become such strong supports and mirrors for each other. We have both grown so much this year and I would not be the same person without her. Even if other people don't see her amazing light and gifts, I know the Universe conspired to bring us together. We allow each other to change and grow, we have fun together, we do spiritual work together, and we also allow each other to be our own person.
I could not be more grateful.
My point is to allow your relationships to change. Don't get stuck in the idea that because you have been friends with someone for 18 years you are required to stay friends for the rest of your life. Be who YOU truly are in each moment and know that the people who are meant to stay in your life WILL. Open your heart and stand in your own light. Know the right people are always there at the right time. Trust that each person will show you yourself and honor and love that person in each moment. Only YOU will know who is meant to stay in your life. I truly LOVE each and every person that has been in my life and always will (and that includes you, dear reader across the internetwaves!). I am so blessed.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
blessings
Life has been a little bit in chaos lately.
But it's okay, it's all temporary as I clear out the old and move into the New.
This morning I was feeling so blessed and it was from the simplest things.
I was visiting a favorite farmers market that is in a beautiful setting. Next to the river, in a renovated Mill, with a stunningly blue sky and perfect fall day (even though I refuse to admit it is fall yet, because technically its NOT). A light breeze that felt so crisp and clean. Just seeing all the colors, the bounty of a summer of hard work in the gardens, the creations of all the independent food and craft artisans ... it is a sight to behold. Purchasing yummy veggies, smoked trout, divine chevre cheese, and sampling a little lavender chocolate is such a simple thing really.
I ran into good friends, we stood to chat just for a few minutes.
The whole hour or so made me feel so blessed.
And THEN to realize I *could* have gone to the bathroom in the Guthrie Theatre next door (I didn't, my meter was running out, but I HAVE in the past)! I mean, hello, WHERE else on earth can you do THAT?! One of the greatest theatre's in the country!
Bliss.
Where do you find your joys?
But it's okay, it's all temporary as I clear out the old and move into the New.
This morning I was feeling so blessed and it was from the simplest things.
I was visiting a favorite farmers market that is in a beautiful setting. Next to the river, in a renovated Mill, with a stunningly blue sky and perfect fall day (even though I refuse to admit it is fall yet, because technically its NOT). A light breeze that felt so crisp and clean. Just seeing all the colors, the bounty of a summer of hard work in the gardens, the creations of all the independent food and craft artisans ... it is a sight to behold. Purchasing yummy veggies, smoked trout, divine chevre cheese, and sampling a little lavender chocolate is such a simple thing really.
I ran into good friends, we stood to chat just for a few minutes.
The whole hour or so made me feel so blessed.
And THEN to realize I *could* have gone to the bathroom in the Guthrie Theatre next door (I didn't, my meter was running out, but I HAVE in the past)! I mean, hello, WHERE else on earth can you do THAT?! One of the greatest theatre's in the country!
Bliss.
Where do you find your joys?
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